miss maturity.

I feel like I'm growing up too quickly. I'm dead set keen to move out next year and rent a house and pay for my own food, do my own washing and pay bills. I'm all set to start working full time to make enough money to put myself through university and rent a place in Brisbane. I can't wait to start university and start learning skills that will provide me for the rest of my life. All of this I'm absolutely ready to do, but it was only 4 months ago that I realized I wanted to work in the film industry. It was only 2 years ago that I actually decided on even going to university. It was only 4 years ago that I was in my first year of high school. I still feel like a child, yet next year I no longer attend high school and it's the beginning of my adult life. I'm so fucking scared that sometimes I want to cry, but then sometimes I'm so god damn excited I want to cry. Is that all I ever feel like doing? Probably. All this talk about university and courses and renting a place next year with friends and gap year and saving money and all that 'adult stuff' is suddenly on my shoulders, and I'm freaked out.

I'm sure though, so long as I know where I want to go and work hard enough for it, it'll all work out.

I have too much spare time to think, and freak out about the things I think about.

God damn adulthood.