I'm Max.

I just saw Where the Wild Things Are and I realised something. I am exactly like Max. Not in the sense that he's playful and interesting and creates his own fun, but that he's weird and people can't accept or like him, even down to the part where he makes weird noises to himself. That is exactly me. While I was watching it I was feeling happy because he starts off all playful, and even though people don't like him and he's always by himself, he's still content, and I was thinking "I know how you feel man" but then it turned awful and all the monsters hated him because his 'fun' had turned mean and hurtful and no one wanted to know him anymore.

And by the end of the movie I felt so low and horrible, not only with how the movie made me feel but also with myself. I mean, Max ran away to this alternate world and he escaped his real life misery, if only for a little bit. Then I realised that I can never do that and I'm stuck in this shit of a life where people don't want me and I spend all my time alone or with people who won't remember me in 5 years time, and I waste my time on these people. Not only my time but my emotions and my money and my trust, all on people who don't seem to turely care about me. I keep telling myself not to let myself fall back into the pattern of trusting people to do things and be places but I do and I end up back here all by myself and feeling as shit as I do now.

So in conclusion, Where The Wild Things Are is a FANTASTIC movie. Spike Jonze is a truely amazing director with a beautiful visual aesthetic, Karen O and Carter Burwell make an amazingly wonderful team and soundtrack, and Paul Dano makes a very heartfelt and wonderful Alex. But it made me feel like utter fuck because it hit TOO close to home. Maybe if I watch it in a few weeks, when I'm down in Tasmania, I'll feel a lot better. But right now I feel horribly isolated, and hating everyone and everything.

And don't tell me I have a good life, because you can't compare someone's physical daily life to their emotional life.